Week 2: Formal Letter
Subject: Self-Introduction to Professor Brad Blackstone
Dear Professor Brad,
My name is Peerasak, and I am one of the students from your effective communication classes. I am writing this letter hoping my introduction will help you understand me better. I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic from a course of my first choice, with a diploma in mechatronics and robotics in 2021. For my final project, I worked in the electronics industry under ASM Pacific Technology as an intern for 6 months. After I received my diploma, I decided to further pursue my studies at the Singapore Institute of Technology.
Over the past 4 years of studying in SP, I have worked on many group projects. One of the biggest projects I am engaged with was Cognito 2020, where my engineering and communication skills were put to the test. I was tasked with many important assignments for our window prototype to function. After 4 to 5 months of hard work, where my team AutoMated won 2nd prize due to our teamwork, ideation and presentation.
From the experience I've gained from Cognito 2020, I have gotten confidence with my communication skills and being comfortable with new individuals I was grouped into. While being able to express my ideas with confidence while engaging with their ideas as well. With this newfound aspect, I volunteered in my Astronomy club to be a quartermaster where I hosted many events and lessons. This in turn boosted my esteem and communication skills. Looking back I have made an impressive improvement over the period when I was an introvert too afraid to voice out. It was truly a bliss to be learning and experiencing the enriching side of the engineering world during my polytechnic days.
However, one of the communication weaknesses I face is holding onto a conversation. I find it easy to approach new people, however, I struggle to hold onto their interest amid the conversation. Looking for topics to talk about, trying to bring up a point does not seem to be working for me. I hope to learn how to improve my communication skills further by improving on this point.
Looking back, I am proud of myself for how much I improved over my time in polytechnic. However, there are still major aspects of communication I still need to practice on, which I look forward to learning in your following classes.
Yours sincerely,
Peerasak Sawdsuksobchai
Hi Peerasak. Good to know that you have gained many meaningful experience in Singapore. I am unsure what "ASM" stands for and I hope you can share with me the full form of that acronym. Other than that, I like how you describe your passion for engineering! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Peerasak, thank you for sharing your introduction. Its nice to read that you improved yourself after struggling. You should be proud of yourself! I think you answered the questions adequately. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHi Peerasak, the experience you had in SP was very impressive and fulfilling. Good to know that you hold these experience dear to you. Your letter was well written, but there seems to be a typo in the 3rd paragraph, I think you are missing "self" from self-esteem. Other than that, thank you for the great read.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Peerasak,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear, succinct and informative letter. You do a good job covering the scope of the assignment brief as you detail your educational background and experience in poly, connecting your interests and study choice with your development of both communication and engineering skills. It's enriching for us readers to learn about your project and the growth that you experienced as a result of that experience.
What I would like to know more about is the actual topic focus. You mention 'window prototype,' but I'd like to see one more sentence of explanation.
This letter is also quite fluent, though there are some language issues to take note of:
1. verb issues
-- One of the biggest projects I am engaged with was Cognito 2020, > (verb tense)
2. sentence structure
-- After 4 to 5 months of hard work, where my team AutoMated won 2nd prize due to our teamwork, ideation and presentation. > (Fragment: You just have a dependent clause, not an independent one.)
After 4 to 5 months of hard work, my team AutoMated won 2nd prize due to our teamwork, ideation and presentation.
-- While being able to express my ideas with confidence while engaging with their ideas as well. > (fragment) ?
-- I find it easy to approach new people, however, I struggle to hold onto their interest amid the conversation. >
I find it easy to approach new people; however, I struggle to hold onto their interest amid the conversation. OR I find it easy to approach new people, but I struggle to hold onto their interest amid the conversation.
3. use of caps
-- Astronomy club > ?
I look forward to working with you further this term.
Best wishes,
Brad